Confidence & self-esteem: what are they & how to grow them

Providing you with some practical strategies & how selfsquared can help get you to a better you. 

Reading time: 5,12 minutes

We all know that self-confidence and self-esteem are the cornerstones of a healthy and fulfilling life, while playing a pivotal role in both our personal and professional lives. These qualities influence the way we perceive ourselves, our abilities, and how we interact with the world around us. Undoubtedly, they can be the difference between achieving your dreams and staying stuck in self-doubt. Low self-confidence and self-esteem can hinder personal growth, happiness, and success.

But fear not! The good news is that these qualities can be cultivated and improved over time. As part of selfsquared’s mission, we’ve got you covered with some practical strategies that can help you build the self-confidence and self-esteem you deserve. We’re here to help you enhance these qualities, paving the way for a more confident and empowered you. For those looking for a practical, everyday tool to build both self-esteem and self-confidence, the selfsquared app offers guided reflections, mindset exercises, and daily prompts to help you build these qualities step-by-step at your own pace, anytime, anywhere.

What the numbers are saying

There’s been a plethora of psychological research published on the topic over the years, but the ones that seem to stick with me the most are the fact that according to 2022 research by Opinium, the number of Brits reporting low self-esteem has tripled in the last two decades from 7% of UK adults in 2004 to 20% today. Similarly, research suggests that 85% of people worldwide report struggling with self-confidence issues at some point in their lives. Those are some massive numbers – that means that only 15% of people worldwide do not struggle with self-confidence, which makes this an even more prevalent topic for us to be focusing on.

What’s the difference between confidence and self-esteem? 

Although often used interchangeably, self-esteem and self-confidence are actually two distinct concepts and understanding the difference between them is key to your personal growth. Both play vital roles in how you see yourself and how you move through the world, but they impact you in different ways.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem is your internal sense of self-worth and value. The way you feel about who you are at your core.

• Rooted in your inner beliefs: It reflects whether or not you feel lovable, worthy and enough, regardless of external success.
• Shaped by life experiences: Self-esteem develops through early relationships, life events, and how you’ve been treated by others over time.
• Stable but not fixed: While self-esteem tends to be more deeply ingrained, it can grow through healing, self-reflection, and compassion practices.
• Driven by identity, not performance: It’s less about what you can do and more about who you believe you are.
  

Self-confidence

Self-confidence is your belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations. It’s your external perception of what you can do.

• Linked to actions and outcomes: Self-confidence grows when you take action, overcome challenges, and achieve results.
• Context-dependent: You can feel confident in one area (e.g., work) but less so in another (e.g., relationships or public speaking).
• Easier to build quickly: Unlike self-esteem, self-confidence can grow rapidly through practice, preparation, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
• Fueled by skills and repetition: The more you do something successfully, the more your confidence increases.

Understanding the difference between the concepts of self confidence vs self esteem, helps you target your personal development more effectively. You might be outwardly confident but still struggle with low self-esteem, or vice versa. At selfsquared, we believe both are essential to long-term growth. By working on your internal sense of worth and your belief in your abilities, you build a more grounded, resilient, and empowered version of yourself.  If you're ready to dive deeper and get tailored support, our individual coaching sessions can help you strengthen both from the inside out.

How to build confidence and self-esteem in your daily life

Positive affirmations:

Repeating positive statements like "I am capable," "I believe in myself," and "I am worthy of love and success" helps reprogram your subconscious mind. This practice gradually replaces negative self-talk with empowering beliefs, shifting your focus toward your strengths and potential. Over time, affirmations become an internal voice that uplifts rather than criticises.

Visualisation techniques:
Visualisation is a tried-and-true technique used by elite athletes and high achievers. By vividly imagining yourself reaching your goals or overcoming challenges, you begin to mentally rehearse success. This mental blueprint not only builds confidence, but also strengthens your belief that you can achieve your dreams.

Goal setting:

Setting clear and achievable goals is like giving your self-confidence a GPS. Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps. Each step you complete will provide a sense of accomplishment and contribute to a growing sense of self-confidence. So, set those goals and watch your self-esteem soar as you achieve them one by one!

Self-compassion:

It's easy to be our own worst critic, but it's time to change that narrative. Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer to a friend. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and those missteps don't define your worth. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and you'll be amazed at how it can transform your self-esteem.

Identifying strengths:

Take a moment to identify your strengths and talents. What are you good at? What do others appreciate about you? Celebrate your achievements, both big and small. Recognising your strengths is a powerful self-esteem booster because it reminds you of your unique qualities and the value you bring to the world.

Challenging negative self-talk:

Pay close attention to your inner dialogue. Are you constantly berating yourself with negative thoughts? It's time to challenge and reframe them. Replace those damaging thoughts with more balanced and positive perspectives. Over time, this habit can help you build a more positive self-image and boost your self-confidence.

Skill development:

Acquiring new skills and knowledge can significantly boost your self-confidence. Whether it's learning a new language, mastering a musical instrument, or acquiring a new professional skill, the sense of achievement that comes with skill development is invaluable. It not only enhances your self-esteem but also broadens your horizons.

Body language awareness:

Did you know that your body language can influence how confident you appear to others? Maintain good posture, make eye contact, and use open and assertive body language. These non-verbal cues not only make you seem more confident but also improve your self-esteem by reinforcing positive self-perception.

Self-care routine:

Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial for building self-confidence. Develop a self-care routine that includes regular exercise, proper nutrition, meditation, and relaxation techniques. When you feel good physically, your self-esteem naturally improves.

Building a support system:

Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift you. Share your goals and aspirations with friends and family who will encourage your personal growth journey. Having a strong support system can provide the motivation and reassurance you need to build your self-confidence.

Facing fear & taking risks:

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a surefire way to boost self-confidence. Face your fears and take calculated risks. Each small step you take outside your comfort zone helps you grow and gain confidence. Embrace change and uncertainty as opportunities for personal growth.

Journaling & self-reflection:

Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for boosting self-esteem. Use it to track your progress, thoughts, and emotions. Regular self-reflection allows you to gain insights into your self-esteem and confidence levels, helping you identify areas for improvement.

Grow your confidence, one step at a time

At this point I think it’s important for me to note that selfsquared and both Christie and I are here to provide valuable guidance and support tailored to your unique needs. We believe that building self-confidence and self-esteem is a journey, not a destination. Our approach at selfsquared is that you should be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards becoming the best version of you. With dedication and practice, you can cultivate the self-confidence and self-esteem needed to thrive in all aspects of life.

Remember, you have the power to shape your self-image and rewrite your story; and we’re here to help you achieve that! Make the decision to start today by booking your complimentary introductory session to see how selfsquared can help your confidence and self-esteem soar to new heights!

I look forward to speaking with you!

Joy