The root cause of perfectionism & how to overcome it
Uncover the causes of perfectionism in psychology. Learn how it shapes your mental health, the traits that fuel it, and practical strategies to overcome it.
Reading time: 5,12 minutes
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism isn’t just about “wanting to do well.” At its root, it’s an ongoing pressure to perform flawlessly, often tied to self-worth. Research suggests perfectionism is linked to overactive error-monitoring systems in the brain, meaning your mind fixates on mistakes more than successes.
Left unchecked, this pattern can feel exhausting; like no matter how much you achieve, it’s never quite enough. That’s why many of us find ourselves constantly striving yet rarely satisfied.
If you’re curious about how these patterns show up in your daily life, the selfsquared app is a great place to start.
The psychology behind the need to be perfect
Perfectionism often stems from early experiences; praise tied to achievement, fear of criticism, or internalised high standards. Over time, this wires the brain to equate “being enough” with “being perfect.”
The loop looks like this:
- High pressure → you set extreme standards.
- Performance check → you focus on mistakes, not progress.
- Temporary relief when things go “well”; but then the cycle starts again.
This cycle is powerful, but not permanent. With the right tools and support, it can be rewired.
Personality traits that fuel perfectionist thinking
While everyone’s experience looks a little different, common traits include:
- All-or-nothing thinking: Success feels like the only acceptable outcome.
- Excessive self-criticism: Small slip-ups trigger harsh self-talk.
- External validation seeking: Self-esteem depends on others’ approval.
These traits often overlap with strengths (like ambition, attention to detail, or drive) which is why perfectionism can be hard to untangle.
How the pursuit of perfection affects mental health
Chasing perfection can come at a cost. Research suggests it’s linked to:
- Higher levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout
- Decision paralysis, where fear of getting it wrong stops you from acting
- Lower creativity, since innovation requires room for trial and error
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many ambitious professionals fall into this pattern, especially in high-pressure careers. For community support and practical tools, our group workshops dive into these topics with others who “get it.”
How to address the root cause of perfectionism
The good news: Perfectionism is learned, which means it can be unlearned. Here are three science-backed strategies:
- Cognitive reframing: Catch and reword perfectionist thoughts. For example, swap “I must not fail” with “I’m learning as I go.”
- Nervous system regulation: Slow breathing or grounding helps calm the overactive stress response that fuels perfectionist pressure.
- Identity-based habits: Instead of “I must do this perfectly,” try “I’m the kind of person who learns through practice.” Small, repeated wins rewire self-belief.
These steps work even better with accountability. If you’d like personalised support, 1:1 coaching sessions can help you identify your specific triggers and reframe them in real time.
Perfectionism may feel like a permanent part of your personality, but it’s really just a set of habits shaped by past experiences. And habits can change. With awareness, the right tools, and supportive spaces, you can begin to shift from chasing flawless outcomes to building steady, confident progress.
Joy,
Co-founder, selfsquared