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Providing you with some practical strategies &amp; how selfsquared can help get you to a better you.&nbsp;Reading time: 5,12 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/110Z8nGfvAJffxpFjPbWXjliioU5u4J9hw5JPkYpL9DqqOBkAVjJxU5b2l7HXZlK.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/110Z8nGfvAJffxpFjPbWXjliioU5u4J9hw5JPkYpL9DqqOBkAVjJxU5b2l7HXZlK.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>We all know that self-confidence and self-esteem are the cornerstones of a healthy and fulfilling life, while playing a pivotal role in both our personal and professional lives. These qualities influence the way we perceive ourselves, our abilities, and how we interact with the world around us. Undoubtedly, they can be the difference between achieving your dreams and staying stuck in self-doubt. Low self-confidence and self-esteem can hinder personal growth, happiness, and success.But fear not! The good news is that these qualities can be cultivated and improved over time. As part of selfsquared’s mission, we’ve got you covered with some practical strategies that can help you build the self-confidence and self-esteem you deserve. We’re here to help you enhance these qualities, paving the way for a more confident and empowered you. For those looking for a practical, everyday tool to build both self-esteem and self-confidence, the <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app">selfsquared app</a> offers guided reflections, mindset exercises, and daily prompts to help you build these qualities step-by-step at your own pace, anytime, anywhere.<h2>What the numbers are saying </h2>There’s been a plethora of psychological research published on the topic over the years, but the ones that seem to stick with me the most are the fact that according to 2022 research by Opinium, the number of Brits reporting low self-esteem has tripled in the last two decades from 7% of UK adults in 2004 to 20% today. Similarly, research suggests that 85% of people worldwide report struggling with self-confidence issues at some point in their lives. Those are some massive numbers – that means that only 15% of people worldwide do not struggle with self-confidence, which makes this an even more prevalent topic for us to be focusing on.<h2>What’s the difference between confidence and self-esteem?&nbsp; </h2>Although often used interchangeably, self-esteem and self-confidence are actually two distinct concepts and understanding the difference between them is key to your personal growth. Both play vital roles in how you see yourself and how you move through the world, but they impact you in different ways.<h3>Self-esteem</h3>Self-esteem is your internal sense of self-worth and value. The way you feel about who you are at your core.<ul><li>Rooted in your inner beliefs: It reflects whether or not you feel lovable, worthy and enough, regardless of external success.</li><li>Shaped by life experiences: Self-esteem develops through early relationships, life events, and how you’ve been treated by others over time.</li><li>Stable but not fixed: While self-esteem tends to be more deeply ingrained, it can grow through healing, self-reflection, and compassion practices.</li><li>Driven by identity, not performance: It’s less about what you can do and more about who you believe you are. </li></ul><h3>Self-confidence</h3>Self-confidence is your belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations. It’s your external perception of what you can do.<ul><li>Linked to actions and outcomes: Self-confidence grows when you take action, overcome challenges, and achieve results.</li><li>Context-dependent: You can feel confident in one area (e.g., work) but less so in another (e.g., relationships or public speaking).</li><li>Easier to build quickly: Unlike self-esteem, self-confidence can grow rapidly through practice, preparation, and stepping out of your comfort zone.</li><li>Fueled by skills and repetition: The more you do something successfully, the more your confidence increases.</li></ul> Understanding the difference between the concepts of self confidence vs self esteem, helps you target your personal development more effectively. You might be outwardly confident but still struggle with low self-esteem, or vice versa. At selfsquared, we believe both are essential to long-term growth. By working on your internal sense of worth and your belief in your abilities, you build a more grounded, resilient, and empowered version of yourself. &nbsp;If you're ready to dive deeper and get tailored support, our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions">individual coaching sessions</a> can help you strengthen both from the inside out. <h2>How to build confidence and self-esteem in your daily life </h2><h3>Positive affirmations:</h3>Repeating positive statements like "I am capable," "I believe in myself," and "I am worthy of love and success" helps reprogram your subconscious mind. This practice gradually replaces negative self-talk with empowering beliefs, shifting your focus toward your strengths and potential. Over time, affirmations become an internal voice that uplifts rather than criticises.Visualisation techniques: Visualisation is a tried-and-true technique used by elite athletes and high achievers. By vividly imagining yourself reaching your goals or overcoming challenges, you begin to mentally rehearse success. This mental blueprint not only builds confidence, but also strengthens your belief that you can achieve your dreams.<h3>Goal setting:</h3>Setting clear and achievable goals is like giving your self-confidence a GPS. Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps. Each step you complete will provide a sense of accomplishment and contribute to a growing sense of self-confidence. So, set those goals and watch your self-esteem soar as you achieve them one by one!<h3>Self-compassion:</h3>It's easy to be our own worst critic, but it's time to change that narrative. Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer to a friend. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and those missteps don't define your worth. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and you'll be amazed at how it can transform your self-esteem.<h3>Identifying strengths:</h3>Take a moment to identify your strengths and talents. What are you good at? What do others appreciate about you? Celebrate your achievements, both big and small. Recognising your strengths is a powerful self-esteem booster because it reminds you of your unique qualities and the value you bring to the world.<h3>Challenging negative self-talk:</h3>Pay close attention to your inner dialogue. Are you constantly berating yourself with negative thoughts? It's time to challenge and reframe them. Replace those damaging thoughts with more balanced and positive perspectives. Over time, this habit can help you build a more positive self-image and boost your self-confidence.<h3>Skill development:</h3>Acquiring new skills and knowledge can significantly boost your self-confidence. Whether it's learning a new language, mastering a musical instrument, or acquiring a new professional skill, the sense of achievement that comes with skill development is invaluable. It not only enhances your self-esteem but also broadens your horizons.<h3>Body language awareness:</h3>Did you know that your body language can influence how confident you appear to others? Maintain good posture, make eye contact, and use open and assertive body language. These non-verbal cues not only make you seem more confident but also improve your self-esteem by reinforcing positive self-perception.<h3>Self-care routine:</h3>Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial for building self-confidence. Develop a self-care routine that includes regular exercise, proper nutrition, meditation, and relaxation techniques. When you feel good physically, your self-esteem naturally improves.<h3>Building a support system:</h3>Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift you. Share your goals and aspirations with friends and family who will encourage your personal growth journey. Having a strong support system can provide the motivation and reassurance you need to build your self-confidence.<h3>Facing fear &amp; taking risks:</h3>Stepping out of your comfort zone is a surefire way to boost self-confidence. Face your fears and take calculated risks. Each small step you take outside your comfort zone helps you grow and gain confidence. Embrace change and uncertainty as opportunities for personal growth.<h3>Journaling &amp; self-reflection:</h3>Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for boosting self-esteem. Use it to track your progress, thoughts, and emotions. Regular self-reflection allows you to gain insights into your self-esteem and confidence levels, helping you identify areas for improvement.<h2>Grow your confidence, one step at a time </h2>At this point I think it’s important for me to note that selfsquared and both Christie and I are here to provide valuable guidance and support tailored to your unique needs. We believe that building self-confidence and self-esteem is a journey, not a destination. Our approach at selfsquared is that you should be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards becoming the best version of you. With dedication and practice, you can cultivate the self-confidence and self-esteem needed to thrive in all aspects of life. Remember, you have the power to shape your self-image and rewrite your story; and we’re here to help you achieve that! Make the decision to start today by <a data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/selfsquared" href="https://calendly.com/selfsquared">booking your complimentary introductory session</a> to see how selfsquared can help your confidence and self-esteem soar to new heights! I look forward to speaking with you!Joy

Confidence & self-esteem: what are they & how to grow them

<h3>Personal growth is a lifelong journey, but it’s one that doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentional effort, awareness, and the willingness to look inward. </h3>- JoyReading time: 3.30 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/36xa6L52nCgtcdAGETCmbjf38cQ5OdAXjnEY2XPDeeC62aXqyEC8hCynZSMJYpI4.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/36xa6L52nCgtcdAGETCmbjf38cQ5OdAXjnEY2XPDeeC62aXqyEC8hCynZSMJYpI4.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Self-reflection is one of the most powerful tools you can use to accelerate your personal development. It allows you to gain insight into your thoughts, actions, and behaviours, helping you learn from your experiences and make more intentional choices moving forward. Inside the <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" target="_blank" rel="noopener">selfsquared app</a>, you’ll find guided reflection prompts and daily mindset tools designed to help you put this into practice, making reflection part of your everyday growth routine.Here’s why self-reflection is a game-changer for your growth and how you can start using it to unlock your full potential.<h3>Self reflection benefits: Gain clarity on your values and goals</h3>Self-reflection helps you reconnect with your core values and what truly matters to you. In the hustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in external expectations or distractions. Taking time to reflect allows you to realign with your authentic self and ensure that your actions are in harmony with your values. Whether it’s career growth, personal relationships, or health, self-reflection helps you assess where you are and where you want to go.​​In our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" target="_blank" rel="noopener">1:1 coaching sessions</a>, we help you dig deeper into your values and set aligned goals through science-backed frameworks that foster lasting clarity and confidence.<h3>Increases self-awareness</h3>Self-awareness is the cornerstone of personal growth. When you regularly reflect on your actions and emotions, you start to understand why you react in certain ways and how your mindset affects your decisions (both in career and personal life). This level of insight helps you become more intentional in your responses and actions.For example, if you find that you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, self-reflection allows you to identify the root cause and determine whether it’s an external factor or an internal belief that needs to be addressed. Our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/group-workshops" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/group-workshops" target="_blank" rel="noopener">group workshops &amp; webinars</a> often explore these patterns through shared discussions and interactive exercises, providing a supportive environment to build awareness and learn actionable techniques together.<h3>Identifies areas for improvement</h3>Self-reflection provides a mirror through which you can assess both your strengths and weaknesses. Rather than just focusing on your accomplishments, reflection helps you honestly examine where you could improve. It’s not about self-criticism; it’s about self-awareness and growth.By acknowledging areas where you may have fallen short, you can create actionable plans to improve. Whether it's improving your time management, communication skills, or emotional regulation, reflection gives you the insight you need to make meaningful changes.<h3>Enhances decision-making</h3>Self-reflection enhances your ability to make informed, thoughtful decisions. By reflecting on past experiences (both successes and failures) you can better evaluate how to approach future challenges. It helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes and make decisions that align with your long-term objectives.Reflecting on past choices also allows you to assess what worked well and why. This helps you gain <a data-mce-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bPWiy9Wh1w" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bPWiy9Wh1w" target="_blank" rel="noopener">self confidence</a> in your decision-making, knowing that you’ve learned from the past and are capable of navigating future challenges with greater clarity. <h3>How to make self-reflection a daily habit</h3>Set aside time for reflection: It doesn’t take hours to reflect. Just 10-15 minutes each day is enough. Find a quiet space, free from distractions, and reflect on your day: what went well, what didn’t, and what you learned.Ask yourself the right questions: Ask open-ended questions that encourage deep thought, such as: <ul><li>What am I proud of today?</li><li>What could I have done differently?</li><li>How did I feel in certain situations, and why?</li><li>What lessons did I learn?</li></ul>Journal your thoughts: Writing down your reflections can help solidify your insights and give you a clearer perspective. Journaling allows you to track your progress and see patterns over time.Be honest &amp; compassionate: Self-reflection isn’t about being harsh on yourself; it’s about being honest and open. Acknowledge areas for improvement, but also celebrate your growth. Self-compassion allows you to learn without judgment. Self-reflection is a powerful tool for unlocking personal growth. By taking time to reflect on your experiences, you gain clarity on your values, increase your self-awareness, and identify areas for improvement. It enhances decision-making and emotional intelligence, making it an essential practice for long-term success.The key is to make self-reflection a daily habit. Ready to make reflection part of your daily life? Try the <a data-mce-href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/selfsquared/id6737338854" href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/selfsquared/id6737338854" target="_blank" rel="noopener">selfsquared app</a> or explore our coaching options to get personalised support on your growth journey.- Joy

The importance of self-reflection in personal development

<h3>Out with the old and in with the new: achieve your goals by learning how to cultivate and maintain a growth mindset. </h3>Reading time: 5.28 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31S7ocjzixkHXodRkis5CJ5ON7sGkK1tDdKhEQrhdl5NWwQvbOM4ICtj2gPfBFEg.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31S7ocjzixkHXodRkis5CJ5ON7sGkK1tDdKhEQrhdl5NWwQvbOM4ICtj2gPfBFEg.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>The concepts of growth vs fixed mindsets have been circulated by psychologists, life coaches and philosophers – however, it’s unclear how effective or inhibiting they truly are without delving deeper. Here, we’ll explore what growth and fixed mindsets are, and how implementing simple actions can lead to cultivating a growth mindset, and even alter your brain structure. Research shows that a growth mindset has been proven to be an essential tool in academic and career success and can ultimately determine the person you want to be and whether you accomplish your goals. Our aim at selfsquared is to teach you how to reach beyond your limits and achieve your goals, and learning how to cultivate a growth mindset is an essential first step. &nbsp; Why adopt a growth mindset? The leading Psychologist in this field, Dr. Carol Dweck, has conducted years of research into the effects of adopting a growth mindset, studying the power of changing one’s underlying beliefs about what they can achieve, where such changes led to an increase in neural growth. This originated studying students’ GPAs (grades) before and after being taught how to adopt a growth mindset – with the results showing undeniable improvement and growth in students who successfully implemented it. Since then, growth mindsets have been linked to success in one’s career, personal growth and overall life achievement. &nbsp; The journey of how growth mindsets can affect such fundamental aspects of our lives begins with neuroplasticity. Through neuroplasticity, human beings can learn new languages, form memories, and rehabilitate themselves – but what actually is it? Neuroplasticity is essentially the ‘rewiring of the brain’ - a feature that our brains have whereby nerve cells called neurons can adapt to new circumstances in our environment. It allows us to strengthen certain neural connections that we do need meanwhile ‘pruning’ off connections that we don’t. When neuroplasticity results in beneficial changes, it can allow us to develop or even create certain functions, such as strengthening connections for language or memory. Neuroplasticity works via a combination of synaptic plasticity (strengthening connections) and neurogenesis (creating new cells in the brain). Synaptic plasticity allows for the gap between two neurons (synapse) to be modified to allow for those two neurons to communicate more effectively with each other – metaphorically ‘closing’ the gap between them. Neurogenesis involves the creation of completely new neurons altogether. Although there has been controversy over whether neurogenesis is possible in adults, recent research shows that it is possible in certain regions of the brain (in particular the region responsible for memory). Together, these two processes combine to allow our brains to be flexible and adaptable. Disruption of neuroplasticity by severe stress or traumatic experiences can be a characteristic of infamous neurological conditions such as depression or PTSD. People can become stuck in certain neural patterns of negative thinking – and literally lose synapses in the process. These negative thinking patterns are also a key feature of a fixed mindset. Do you ever feel like your abilities are ‘fixed’? Like you can’t play an instrument, or you’re either “smart” or “not smart”? This is referred to as a fixed mindset, which is where an individual believes that their abilities are fixed and cannot be changed. On the other hand, a growth mindset is a mindset in which an individual views their intelligence, abilities and talents as capable of improvement through effort and exercise. The good news is that self-directed neuroplasticity can help us cultivate a growth mindset. Adopting a growth mindset brings a plethora of benefits including increasing motivation, learning and overall success – through viewing challenges as mistakes to learn from rather than something one can fail. We can rewire our own brains through consistently exercising positive actions or thoughts to establish them as habits and regular behaviours, by adopting a growth mindset. Growth mindsets allow us to increase positive behaviours and reinforce positive thoughts while allowing for setbacks, ensuring that some neural connections are strengthened, and others ‘pruned’ off - bridging the gap between the so called ‘mind’ and the ‘brain’. &nbsp; But how can we activate this rewiring ourselves? There are five ways to use neuroplasticity to adopt a growth mindset. Firstly, simplify what you’re trying to achieve by streamlining your progress. Instead of having a general idea of how you want to succeed, focus on beneficial key goals and eliminate irrelevant goals. Secondly, learn to embrace failure and learn from your mistakes. By viewing failure as a positive rather than a negative, we can learn from each one and improve our decision making. Accepting your failures opens up other avenues to try new things and set new goals, even if there is a chance that you may fail. Ultimately leading to a higher chance of succeeding at your higher goals in life. Thirdly, integrate movement into your routine. Neuroscientific evidence shows that physical activity stimulates the release of a substance called Brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF) which activates the growth of new synaptic connections, improving neuroplasticity. As discussed earlier, an improvement in neuroplasticity in the right areas helps us create a growth mindset. Fourthly, create small daily challenges for yourself. Measurable mini goals make getting out of your comfort zone more doable, which is an important feature in fostering a growth mindset. Once you can escape your comfort zone, that is when you can tackle the harder problems, leading to the achievement of more sizable goals. Finally, be open to feedback. Allowing others to constructively criticise your performance can push you to challenge yourself beyond your original limits and understand that you are responsible for your own growth – which is the fundamental premise of a growth mindset. &nbsp; Understanding the difference between growth and fixed mindsets and how to identify what kind of mindset you’re currently in is the first step forward. Once established, use the above techniques to activate your own neuroplasticity, and forge your own path to growth and achieving your goals. Remember – the mindset you adopt for yourself determines your success. - Iona

Neuroplasticity and growth vs fixed mindsets

<h3>Master your mind to unlock your full potential by understanding what fear and resistance are and what techniques can help you overcome them.</h3>Reading time: 5.38 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23QKPYr6JSPYnUxNwWvqMxWtb7Iionv9z5isjvviQyoKiFpc5ieJ7OP5i8SXaDx5.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23QKPYr6JSPYnUxNwWvqMxWtb7Iionv9z5isjvviQyoKiFpc5ieJ7OP5i8SXaDx5.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Fear and resistance are two formidable adversaries that often stand between us and our dreams. They can paralyze us, stifle our creativity, and prevent us from reaching our full potential. But the good news is that with the right mindset and strategies, we can conquer these barriers and pave the way for personal and professional growth. They’re both common barriers that hold us back from achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life. However, with the power of psychology-based techniques, you can break free from these constraints and unlock your true potential. In this blog, we will explore what fear and resistance are, as well as a few techniques that can help overcome them to unlock your full potential. Fear and resistance are closely related but distinct concepts, so let’s start with defining each. Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. It can be triggered by various factors, including past experiences, uncertainty about the future, or even fear of failure. Fear can manifest as anxiety, self-doubt, and procrastination, making it challenging to take action and pursue your goals. Resistance, on the other hand, is the psychological force that opposes change or any form of progress. It often stems from fear but can also be driven by comfort in the status quo. Resistance can manifest as self-sabotage, procrastination, or a strong desire to stay within your comfort zone. To overcome these, it's essential to identify their sources and understand why they manifest. Common sources include past failures, where previous setbacks or failures can breed fear of repeating those experiences, leading to resistance against trying again. Additionally, self-doubt, stemming from a lack of self-confidence and belief in your abilities, can fuel fear and resistance. Striving for perfection can also be a hindrance, as it can paralyze you with fear of making mistakes, causing resistance to taking action. The unknown and uncertainty can be intimidating factors, leading to fear and resistance when faced with change or new opportunities. Lastly, external pressures, such as those from others' expectations or societal norms, can create fear and resistance to pursuing your true desires, adding to the challenges you may face on your journey to overcoming these obstacles. Now that we've explored the roots of fear and resistance, let's delve into strategies to overcome them and unlock your full potential, starting with visualization-based exposure. The human mind cannot distinguish between reality and the mental constructs we create. Whether you’re facing a real-life situation or merely imagining it, your brain responds by producing the same neurochemicals that trigger emotional responses. This implies that if you harbour fears, whether related to public speaking, addressing a challenging conversation, or flying in an airplane, you can employ visualization to mentally rehearse exposure. Visualization is a valuable tool not only for addressing fears but also for practicing new skills or initiating life changes. Since change can be intimidating, visualization helps in overcoming resistance by allowing you to become accustomed to the forthcoming experience. By mentally working through the daunting aspects and considering various scenarios, you can prepare yourself for how you wish to react when the actual event occurs. Visualization also aids skill development by ingraining detailed mental representations, making real-life execution feel familiar rather than novel. Regardless of the mental exposure scenario, it's important to define what the experience would entail. I want you to try this. Imagine a situation or scenario that causes you a sense of fear or resistance. Are there specific steps to follow? Who would be present, and what would be happening around you? Take a moment to close your eyes and vividly imagine the entire experience from beginning to end. Pay attention to any negative emotions of resistance or fear that arise, and analyse the thoughts that trigger those feelings. Consider how you would prefer the experience to unfold to make you more comfortable, and continue envisioning a successful outcome. You can even incorporate enjoyable or calming elements like music or colours into your mental scenario, which programs your mind to anticipate positive emotions during the actual event. It may be necessary to repeat this exercise multiple times until you can navigate the entire process with confidence and positivity. Another effective method for gradually confronting fear and resistance is by taking incremental steps, which comes from situation exposure hierarchies. You can use this technique by starting with identifying the activities or situations you have been avoiding. Next, pinpoint the specific steps or actions within these situations that trigger resistance. This could involve initiating conversations, making commitments, taking actions, or making investments, among other things. For each aspect that induces resistance, rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 representing the highest level of fear or resistance. Arrange these aspects in order based on their scores, and commence with the tasks that have the lowest resistance levels. This approach not only builds self-assurance but also reduces feelings of overwhelm by tackling smaller tasks first, gradually progressing to more challenging ones. A powerful technique for addressing fear and resistance involves confronting the fear head-on. Admittedly, this is my favourite technique whereby you’re required to play out the scenario to its conclusion; essentially div e into the worst-case scenario. You can do this by visualizing the situation and playing it out to its worst-case scenario – aka the outcome you fear the most. This exercise allows you to gain insight into what it would actually feel like without the need to experience it in reality. It provides a safe space for you to assess your reactions and coping mechanisms in the face of your fear. It's important to note that this technique is highly linked with decatastrophizing. This is a tool which is highly effective for dispelling worries and catastrophic thinking, especially when you find yourself overly concerned about a situation. By examining the facts and data surrounding the situation, decatastrophizing helps you regain a rational perspective. To effectively manage worries and anxieties, it's essential to follow a structured approach; so here’s six steps that can help you do that:<ol><li>Identify the catastrophe: Begin by identifying the catastrophe you are concerned about, articulating it clearly without resorting to vague "What if...?" statements.</li><li>Assess the severity: Once you've pinpointed the potential catastrophe, assess its severity on a scale from 0% to 100%, considering how awful it would genuinely be if it were to occur.</li><li>Evaluate likelihood: Following this, evaluate the likelihood of this catastrophe becoming a reality, taking into account past occurrences or similar events. Estimate the probability on the same 0% to 100% scale.</li><li>Worst-case scenario: Next, delve into the worst-case scenario, the best-case scenario, and the most probable outcome. Approach this as if you were advising a friend in a similar situation, considering what reassurances you would provide.</li><li>Coping strategies: Reflect on how you would cope with the aftermath of the catastrophe, drawing from your past experiences and available resources, including support from friends, your skills, and effective coping techniques.</li><li>Self-reassurance: Finally, create a positive and reassuring narrative based on your analysis, crafting the comforting words you would want to hear. Then, reevaluate how severe you perceive the catastrophe to be, armed with a clearer perspective and a newfound sense of self-reassurance. Fear and resistance are challenging adversaries, but they are not impossible to overcome. By understanding their sources, acknowledging their presence, and implementing strategies to overcome them, you can unlock your full potential and pursue your dreams with confidence and determination. Consider that growth often happens outside your comfort zone, so embrace the challenges and uncertainties along the way, knowing that they are essential ingredients on the path to success. Next time you’re faced with fear or resistance, I’d love for you to remind yourself that our journey is a testament to your resilience and determination, and it will ultimately lead you to a brighter and more fulfilling future.</li></ol>- Joy

Overcoming fear & resistance

<h3>How to maximise motivation at work &amp; the importance of “intrinsic” and “extrinsic” rewards.&nbsp;</h3>Reading time: 5 minutes<figure id="figure-gnw3jvoeknlk2sem1i"><img id="gnw3jvoeknlk2sem1i" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/11SlfPMAkaiDCGfLRW3QCvzuNeD7sq38aQzSgNOeYCKi8yeT4FcOsuwgJ1ebHWRT.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="small" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/11SlfPMAkaiDCGfLRW3QCvzuNeD7sq38aQzSgNOeYCKi8yeT4FcOsuwgJ1ebHWRT.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Motivation is an internal state that individuals experience, influenced by different external and internal parameters such as the social context and other people. According to Frederick Hertzberg, motivation is developing within each person and remaining unique to that person.Motivation has two main types. It can either be extrinsic (driven by a specific reward, usually money, points, credits), or intrinsic (driven by inner pleasure, values, inherent satisfaction), or both.There are a few different approaches and theories explaining how motivation, performance and customer satisfaction interact in the workplace. For many years, it has been generally believed that money was the primary reason leading people to show up at work. Nowadays, it is widely believed that work has a series of latent functions, such as giving individuals the opportunity for social interaction, acting as a source of creativity, identity and mastery, as explained by Marie Jahoda.&nbsp;Research into the field of motivation by Richard Ryan has shown that intrinsic rewards are a more powerful motivator than extrinsic ones. However, not all occupations display those latent functions to the same extent. For instance employees in non-profit organisations overall appear to have more internal motives than i.e. taxi drivers or ride-hailing app drivers .Living in London, and using Uber and other ride-hailing apps frequently, as a means of transportation, I have always been curious to understand what is it that makes drivers motivated to keep going, driving for extensive hours and continue to pick up and drop off passengers in a constant loop.&nbsp;In this article, I will be looking closely at the type of motivation that derives from work, using Uber drivers as an example. The main point I will be making is that work in general has a mixture of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards but individuals who focus on the intrinsic ones are overall happier and more motivated on a daily basis.&nbsp;At selfsquared, we have been working with young professionals who are lacking motivation at their work. We have been actively helping individuals identify their passions and skills and seek careers that provide them with a mixture of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards, focusing more on the internal ones, to maximise job satisfaction and happiness.A recent survey by Alex Rosenbalt has shown that at their majority, Uber drivers’ motivation highly depends on pay, with 56% among drivers reporting that they are financially reliant on Uber as their primary source of income, being primarily motivated by the monetary rewards associated with the job. But what about the intrinsic rewards of the job? Do they exist? Is there any satisfaction coming out of driving?Taking a deeper look into the Uber app’s design, there is a feature which is sending notifications to drivers i.e. “you nearly made it to earn £50”, forcing them to work more, drive longer hours, motivating them to gain more extrinsic rewards, i.e. money. Despite being an easy and effective motivator, economic rewards in the case of Uber are having effects of tiredness and fatigue on drivers, making them obsessed towards reaching their daily goal, without placing emphasis on the quality of their services.&nbsp;Testimonials from Uber customers: “The vast majority of drivers are not being nice to passengers.” as reported by Gloss, McGregor &amp; Brown reveal that the lack of Intrinsic rewards may lead to lower job motivation, satisfaction and performance.On another note, Uber drivers, make more money per hour than conventional taxi drivers and even more than their community’s median hourly wage, which seems to be a good financial incentive for an individual to join the Uber business. However, higher salary does not mean greater effort. A passenger reports: “I gave him 2 stars. I left a little note, and said that he didn't have a GPS and so I had to do it”. Complaints reveal that Uber drivers underestimate the customers’ demands, which could potentially spring from their primarily extrinsic motivation, which is less powerful than intrinsic, therefore showing less effort and poorer performance.Empirical support for the above argument also comes from Heyman &amp; Ariely’s laboratory study which showed that participants would make more effort performing a task in exchange for no money ‘social request’ or for rewards in the form of a candy/cookie ‘social rewards’ instead of payment in the form of money ‘monetary rewards’. Therefore, the conclusion from the above is that intrinsic rewards, such as accepting a social request, or being given a social reward such as candies are more powerful motivators than extrinsic rewards.The principles outlined by Heyman &amp; Ariely above, explain that employers should also stress the intrinsic rewards employees would gain through the job, such as (in the case of Uber drivers) having a good rating and self-image, rather than highlighting the importance of working more for more money.Despite Uber mainly promoting the job’s extrinsic rewards, it should be acknowledged that intrinsic rewards also exist in their driver’s day-to-day work life. Specifically, some drivers have reported being motivated by the social experience as much as the income, claiming that they only drove for Uber for social interaction with others. Those drivers’ testimonials, highlight that there are additional intrinsic rewards that they extract from working with Uber, such as being occupied, interested in client’s stories, being active and having the opportunity for social interaction. This type of work also gives drivers a social support network, skills of engaging with passengers and shaping their self-image, which are some of the latent functions of work.Furthermore, the existence of ratings between 1 and 5 stars, constitutes a factor that intrinsically motivates drivers to obtain a high rating and preserve a positive image which would in turn lead them to higher revenues. Overall, there seem to be both extrinsic as well as intrinsic rewards, associated with the job of being an Uber driver however, Uber primarily promotes the extrinsic ones.This observation can have wider implications to employees but also to employers. Since motivation plays a key role in employees' performance, personal drive and retention it can be concluded that a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards’ motivational system would be the most beneficial in the workplace.Intrinsic rewards are important for employees as they foster a sense of community, personal fulfilment and inner purpose. At the same time, extrinsic rewards are the main reason why traditionally people have been seeking employment. Therefore, keeping monetary rewards at competitive levels also appears to be crucial.What are your main motivators at your work? Are you focused on the intrinsic or extrinsic rewards? Or both?At selfsquared, we can help you identify what motivates you the most and work together towards finding the perfect balance between intrinsic and extrinsic rewards in your career and beyond.- Christie

Maximizing motivation at work

<h3>Understanding the science behind happiness, including factors that contribute to it and strategies for increasing life satisfaction.</h3>Reading time: 5.71 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2RIqseMsPxMGr65ZqblPiOqIRNBFHtU1YwsG1Toi1qxWu5HoAJaW1WQLiSg9Tv7s.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/2RIqseMsPxMGr65ZqblPiOqIRNBFHtU1YwsG1Toi1qxWu5HoAJaW1WQLiSg9Tv7s.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Over the years there has been a plethora of self-help advice given and books written on the importance of happiness to overall well-being. From academics to psychologists, to everyday folk, everyone seems to agree that the pursuit of happiness is a worthy goal, but it's not always easy to pinpoint what it is that will truly bring us joy.&nbsp;Why is it that according to one 2022 survey,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.oracle.com/uk/news/announcement/oracle-cx-happiness-research-study-2022-06-15/" data-mce-href="https://www.oracle.com/uk/news/announcement/oracle-cx-happiness-research-study-2022-06-15/">45% of people</a>&nbsp;globally claim they haven’t felt true happiness for more than two years, even though 88% of people are actively looking for&nbsp;<a href="https://www.canvas8.com/library/behaviour/experience-hunters" data-mce-href="https://www.canvas8.com/library/behaviour/experience-hunters">new experiences</a>&nbsp;that make them smile and laugh? Why is it that certain locations around the world seem to rank higher in terms of overall happiness versus others (a prime example of this being Finland, which has once again been ranked as the happiest country in the world)?One of the answers, which I have personally found to be the most effective and all-encompassing, lies in the need to focus on finding the right balance between pleasure and purpose in our lives and identifying ways of optimising experiences, rather than physical things, for well-being.One of our approaches within selfsquared is centred around Positive Psychology; which is about achieving the optimal level of functioning by building upon your strengths across all aspects of your life. It focuses on increasing our experiences of positive states, such as happiness, joy, contentment, life satisfaction, creativity, gratitude, optimism, wisdom, courage, and love among others. Balancing pleasure and purpose:Have you ever wondered “How much happier could I physically be”? Interestingly, Positive Psychology research suggests that our capacity for happiness is set by 50% based on our genetics (biology and heredity), 10% based on our circumstances (sex, ethnicity, income, education or geography) and 40% based on intentional activity (behavioural choices or thinking patterns). Knowing these statistics and percentages, it’s a no-brainer that we absolutely, undeniably, should be more intentional with our activity! Am I right?So how can we do that? How can we become happier? Jay Shetty, a former monk and current podcaster, author and life coach believes that balancing pleasure and purpose is the answer. Imagine a calculation in which your purpose consists of your skillset, plus what you love, plus what serves the world; pleasure in this equation emerges under the ‘what you love’ element. Following this logic, doing what you love is incredibly important to have a fulfilling purpose. To dive into this a bit deeper, consider the purpose matrix which goes as follows:<table width="100%" data-mce-style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%; background-color: #ecf0f1; border-color: #000000; border-style: solid;" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%; background-color: rgb(236, 240, 241); border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-style: solid;" class="mce-item-table" data-mce-selected="1"><tbody><tr><td width="50%">1. skill + no passion</td><td width="50%">2. skill + passion</td></tr><tr><td width="50%">3. no skill + no passion</td><td width="50%">4. no skill but passion</td></tr></tbody></table> Think of all aspects and areas of your life as falling under these four quadrants:<ol><li>The first one includes “skill + no passion”. This includes things that you're good at but don’t necessarily love. Unfortunately, for most people, this usually includes our profession.</li><li>The second quadrant includes “skill + passion”. Ideally, we want to have more aspects of our lives falling into this segment. These can include extracurricular activities, such as cooking, baking, or painting; they’re stuff that we’re really good at and love doing.</li><li>The third quadrant includes “no skill + no passion”. Ideally, we want to eliminate aspects of our lives that fall into this segment as much as possible. These can include part-time jobs done purely for money-saving purposes, that you're not skilled or passionate about, or specific aspects within our routines, that we’re not skilled at and are not passionate about, such as cleaning the house. It is important to acknowledge that we cannot completely eliminate these aspects altogether from our lives, so our goal would be to minimize or assign them to others where possible.</li><li>Lastly, the fourth quadrant includes “no skill, but passion”. These are aspects of our lives in which we may lack expertise but are really passionate about. They might include a new hobby, such as painting,&nbsp;dancing, sports, DJing, or playing instruments. This segment is important for growth and we want to keep it, while slowly moving aspects of it more towards the second segment.</li></ol>Use this matrix to think about your life. Where do different aspects of it fall? Have you got enough activities falling into the second quadrant? What is it that brings your passion and purpose together? How can you align these more? Optimising experiences:When evaluating the above in my own life, I concluded that the key to those questions revolved around the optimisation of experiences. It seems that I’m not the only one that thinks that way; in fact, <a href="https://www.vicemediagroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/VMG_MAKE-CONTACT_EXPERIENTIAL-WHITE-PAPER_2021.pdf" data-mce-href="https://www.vicemediagroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/VMG_MAKE-CONTACT_EXPERIENTIAL-WHITE-PAPER_2021.pdf">81%</a> of Gen Zers say that an experience is ‘fun’ because you can share moments with others. Optimising experiences in psychology involves leveraging various strategies and techniques to enhance well-being, satisfaction, and overall quality of life. Regardless of the activity, the experience of fun most often comes from a combination of feeling engaged and liberated at the same time. There are a number of practices which I’ve personally found effective in optimising my experiences which I’m hoping might resonate with you too and help in boosting your sense of happiness and well-being. <ul><li>Mindfulness:Mindfulness is an originally Buddhist practice which focuses on the art of being truly in the present moment. This is often done by observing and anchoring the effects of the breath, practiced through daily meditative sittings, mindful eating, mindful walking, visualizations, body scans and yoga.</li><li>Exercise:&nbsp;Exercise has played an important part in my feeling of well-being, especially during the last few months. It includes a natural way in which our brains release endorphins (which are also known as “the happy hormones”), associated with feelings of enchantment.</li><li>Journaling:&nbsp;Engaging in journaling is a powerful method for developing self-awareness regarding unhelpful thoughts, emotions, and actions. It serves as a means of self-expression, allowing us to monitor our behaviours and pinpoint areas where transformation is necessary. It manifests in various forms such as diaries, logs, thought records, and activities aimed at activating positive behaviour.</li><li>Healthy eating &amp; sleep:Incorporating the right nutrients and vitamins into our dietary habits has been proven to boost motivation, increase energy levels, and support optimal brain function. Adopting a healthy eating pattern, coupled with obtaining 8-10 hours of quality sleep each night, profoundly influences our overall well-being. Whenever I get close to 8 hours of sleep at night, I notice that I wake up with a lot more energy, feeling much more refreshed and ready to take on the day.</li></ul>Thinking about the ways that you personally optimise experiences in your life are there any others that you’d add to the list? Have you identified any of the ones mentioned above that you incorporate more of in the future? Over the next few months I’ll be posting more deep-dive blogs into each and every one of the topics mentioned above; so stay tuned. Toxic positivity:Having established the above, it is important to acknowledge that while positivity and optimism have a place, negative emotions are also a natural part of life and need to be recognised, addressed and processed as part of staying mentally healthy. According to <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/tired-of-being-told-cheer-up-the-problem-of-toxic-positivity-11635858001" data-mce-href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/tired-of-being-told-cheer-up-the-problem-of-toxic-positivity-11635858001">Dr David Kessler</a>, a grief expert, “Toxic positivity is positivity given in the wrong way, in the wrong dose, at the wrong time. Emotions are data. They are not good or bad. They are signposts to things we care about.” It is therefore important to acknowledge that while we want to maximize feelings of happiness, there is comfort in acknowledging and communicating about negative feelings and the bad times. These honest conversations about mental health and difficult moments create spaces in which we can connect and bond with others over shared experiences. At selfsquared one of our primary goals is to provide the space for these conversations to take place as well as an opportunity to experience these negative emotions in a constructive way. - Joy

selfsquared

blog posts backend

Confidence & self-esteem: what are they & how to grow them

The importance of self-reflection in personal development

Neuroplasticity and growth vs fixed mindsets

Overcoming fear & resistance

Maximizing motivation at work

The psychology of happiness