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Uncover the causes of perfectionism in psychology. Learn how it shapes your mental health, the traits that fuel it, and practical strategies to overcome it. Reading time: 5,12 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/0v8Hr4JGmHpetO9U5OMZkqtJzbKFLwWdUGgsIiitOl8oyBQheLWcIdbQpAghjAKT.png" alt="Personal boundaries - selfsquared" title="Personal boundaries - selfsquared" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 30% 35%;" data-corners="medium" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="30%" data-positiony="35%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/0v8Hr4JGmHpetO9U5OMZkqtJzbKFLwWdUGgsIiitOl8oyBQheLWcIdbQpAghjAKT.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 30% 35%;"></figure><h2>What is perfectionism?</h2>Perfectionism isn’t just about “wanting to do well.” At its root, it’s an ongoing pressure to perform flawlessly, often tied to self-worth. Research suggests perfectionism is linked to overactive error-monitoring systems in the brain, meaning your mind fixates on mistakes more than successes. Left unchecked, this pattern can feel exhausting; like no matter how much you achieve, it’s never quite enough. That’s why many of us find ourselves constantly striving yet rarely satisfied. If you’re curious about how these patterns show up in your daily life, the <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app">selfsquared app</a> is a great place to start. <h2>The psychology behind the need to be perfect</h2>Perfectionism often stems from early experiences; praise tied to achievement, fear of criticism, or internalised high standards. Over time, this wires the brain to equate “being enough” with “being perfect.” <h3>The loop looks like this:</h3><ul><li>High pressure → you set extreme standards. </li><li>Performance check → you focus on mistakes, not progress. </li><li>Temporary relief when things go “well”; but then the cycle starts again. </li></ul>This cycle is powerful, but not permanent. With the right tools and support, it can be rewired.<h2>Personality traits that fuel perfectionist thinking</h2>While everyone’s experience looks a little different, common traits include: <ul><li>All-or-nothing thinking: Success feels like the only acceptable outcome. </li><li>Excessive self-criticism: Small slip-ups trigger harsh self-talk. </li><li>External validation seeking: Self-esteem depends on others’ approval.</li></ul>These traits often overlap with strengths (like ambition, attention to detail, or drive) which is why perfectionism can be hard to untangle.<h2>How the pursuit of perfection affects mental health </h2>Chasing perfection can come at a cost. Research suggests it’s linked to:<ul><li>Higher levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout</li><li>Decision paralysis, where fear of getting it wrong stops you from acting</li><li>Lower creativity, since innovation requires room for trial and error</li></ul>If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many ambitious professionals fall into this pattern, especially in high-pressure careers. For community support and practical tools, our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/upcoming-workshops" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/upcoming-workshops">group workshops</a> dive into these topics with others who “get it.”<h2>How to address the root cause of perfectionism </h2>The good news: Perfectionism is learned, which means it can be unlearned. Here are three science-backed strategies: <ul><li>Cognitive reframing: Catch and reword perfectionist thoughts. For example, swap “I must not fail” with “I’m learning as I go.”</li><li>Nervous system regulation: Slow breathing or grounding helps calm the overactive stress response that fuels perfectionist pressure.</li><li>Identity-based habits: Instead of “I must do this perfectly,” try “I’m the kind of person who learns through practice.” Small, repeated wins rewire self-belief. These steps work even better with accountability. If you’d like personalised support,<a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions"> 1:1 coaching sessions</a> can help you identify your specific triggers and reframe them in real time.</li></ul>Perfectionism may feel like a permanent part of your personality, but it’s really just a set of habits shaped by past experiences. And habits can change. With awareness, the right tools, and supportive spaces, you can begin to shift from chasing flawless outcomes to building steady, confident progress.Joy, Co-founder, selfsquared

The root cause of perfectionism & how to overcome it

Learn what boundaries truly are, why they’re hard to set &amp; how to build them with practical tools for confidence, clarity &amp; self-respect in life. Reading time: 5,12 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/14t6fm5n0Md3K3698d36C8hRBH6FlhrT4sVTexBOhIMKWtbf4k1PS2ylHHwulfR9.jpg" alt="Personal boundaries - selfsquared" title="Personal boundaries - selfsquared" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 30% 35%;" data-corners="medium" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="30%" data-positiony="35%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/14t6fm5n0Md3K3698d36C8hRBH6FlhrT4sVTexBOhIMKWtbf4k1PS2ylHHwulfR9.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 30% 35%;"></figure>I used to think boundaries were pretty straightforward.You tell people what you’re okay with. You say “no” when you mean no. You take space when you need it. Simple, right?Not exactly.Over the past couple of years, I’ve been on a personal mission to understand boundaries, why we struggle with them, what they actually look like in real life, and how setting them can completely transform our energy, confidence, self-esteem, and relationships. I have also noticed that women in their mid-20s to late 30s struggle with boundaries even more than other groups.<h2>What are boundaries?</h2>Let’s start with what boundaries actually are. They’re not walls. They’re not ultimatums. Boundaries are the emotional, mental, physical, and time-based limits we set to protect our energy, values, and well-being. They’re a form of self-respect. A way of saying, “This is what I need to stay whole.” Think of them as your internal compass. They guide how you want to be treated, how you show up in relationships, and how you care for your own peace.So if boundaries are so essential, why do so many of us find them hard to set?<h2>Why do we struggle to set boundaries?</h2>Through our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/group-workshops" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/group-workshops" target="_blank" rel="noopener">workshops</a> and <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" target="_blank" rel="noopener">one-on-one sessions</a>, we found that this isn’t just about not knowing what to say. Our brains are literally wired to keep us connected, even at the expense of our own needs. From an evolutionary standpoint, belonging to a group meant survival. And deep down, our nervous systems are still running that same script.When we sense conflict or disapproval, our brain perceives it as a threat. That’s why saying “no” can trigger anxiety, guilt, or even panic. The part of our brain that handles threat detection lights up, and suddenly, a simple boundary starts to feel like emotional danger. Add to that the feel-good rush of being liked or accepted, and you’ve got a brain that’s been trained to people-please. Every time we accommodate others, even when it costs us, we get a small hit of relief. Over time, this becomes a reward loop. We say yes when we mean no. We smile through discomfort. We overextend, just to keep the peace.For some women, that over-accommodation runs even deeper. If you’re highly empathetic, your brain mirrors others’ emotions more intensely. You don’t just understand someone’s discomfort, you feel it. And that can make it even harder to hold your ground. When someone else is upset, you might take it on as your responsibility to fix it, even if it means crossing your own limits.All of this is compounded by chronic stress or low self-esteem, which weaken the part of our brain responsible for decision-making and self-regulation. Without conscious effort, we default to what feels “safe”: avoiding conflict, staying agreeable, overdelivering, and neglecting our own needs in the process.The problem is, that safety is short-lived.When we don’t set boundaries, we slowly start to lose ourselves. We let family, partners or children take over our lives. We feel burnt out, taken for granted, emotionally drained. We say yes while our body screams no. And even when no one else is asking for too much, we begin to feel resentful because we haven’t given ourselves permission to say enough.But it doesn’t have to stay that way.<h2>How to set healthy boundaries?</h2>Learning to set boundaries is a skill. It starts with self-awareness, tuning into those subtle signals of discomfort, irritation, or exhaustion. Those aren’t random mood swings. They’re clues. Clues that something needs adjusting. Boundaries often come into focus when we ask ourselves, “What am I no longer available for?” or “What do I need more of to feel grounded and well?”Once you start identifying your limits, the next step is practicing how to express them, clearly and kindly.<h2>Phrases that work</h2>You don’t need to over-explain. Sometimes a simple, “That doesn’t work for me” or “I need to think about that before saying yes” is more than enough. It’s not about being harsh. It’s about being honest. Those phrases have massively helped me internalise the reasons for struggling to say no.<h2>From guilt to growth</h2>In the beginning, it might feel awkward. You might worry about letting people down. Guilt might creep in, and that’s okay. Guilt is often just a sign that you’re doing something new, not something wrong. When those feelings show up, remind yourself that setting a boundary isn’t just about protecting your energy, and it’s about creating healthier, more authentic connections. When you’re honest about what you need, you give others permission to do the same.There’s no perfect way to do this. You’ll wobble. You’ll adjust. But every time you honor your own limits, you strengthen your self-trust. You teach your nervous system that it’s safe to have needs. That you don’t have to abandon yourself to belong.<h2>Boundaries are bridges, not walls</h2>Boundaries aren’t barriers. They’re bridges. Bridges to more aligned choices, deeper relationships, and a more grounded version of yourself. We can’t help everyone, please everyone, and keep everyone around us happy. Our responsibility is to prioritise our own mental and physical health.So if you’re feeling stretched thin, start here: When was the last time you felt your boundary was crossed? What would it feel like to honor that boundary now?This is your permission to start. Not to push others away, but to come back home to yourself. ChristieCo-founder, selfsquared

The power of boundaries: What are they & how to set them

Learn the difference between confidence &amp; self-esteem. Discover ways to boost both through positive affirmations, goal setting &amp; self-compassion.Reading time: 5,12 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/110Z8nGfvAJffxpFjPbWXjliioU5u4J9hw5JPkYpL9DqqOBkAVjJxU5b2l7HXZlK.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/110Z8nGfvAJffxpFjPbWXjliioU5u4J9hw5JPkYpL9DqqOBkAVjJxU5b2l7HXZlK.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>We all know that self-confidence and self-esteem are the cornerstones of a healthy and fulfilling life, while playing a pivotal role in both our personal and professional lives. These qualities influence the way we perceive ourselves, our abilities, and how we interact with the world around us. Undoubtedly, they can be the difference between achieving your dreams and staying stuck in self-doubt. Low self-confidence and self-esteem can hinder personal growth, happiness, and success.But fear not! The good news is that these qualities can be cultivated and improved over time. As part of selfsquared’s mission, we’ve got you covered with some practical strategies that can help you build the self-confidence and self-esteem you deserve. We’re here to help you enhance these qualities, paving the way for a more confident and empowered you. For those looking for a practical, everyday tool to build both self-esteem and self-confidence, the <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app">selfsquared app</a> offers guided reflections, mindset exercises, and daily prompts to help you build these qualities step-by-step at your own pace, anytime, anywhere.<h2>What the numbers are saying </h2>There’s been a plethora of psychological research published on the topic over the years, but the ones that seem to stick with me the most are the fact that according to 2022 research by Opinium, the number of Brits reporting low self-esteem has tripled in the last two decades from 7% of UK adults in 2004 to 20% today. Similarly, research suggests that 85% of people worldwide report struggling with self-confidence issues at some point in their lives. Those are some massive numbers – that means that only 15% of people worldwide do not struggle with self-confidence, which makes this an even more prevalent topic for us to be focusing on.<h2>What’s the difference between confidence and self-esteem?&nbsp; </h2>Although often used interchangeably, self-esteem and self-confidence are actually two distinct concepts and understanding the difference between them is key to your personal growth. Both play vital roles in how you see yourself and how you move through the world, but they impact you in different ways.<h3>Self-esteem</h3>Self-esteem is your internal sense of self-worth and value. The way you feel about who you are at your core.<ul><li>Rooted in your inner beliefs: It reflects whether or not you feel lovable, worthy and enough, regardless of external success.</li><li>Shaped by life experiences: Self-esteem develops through early relationships, life events, and how you’ve been treated by others over time.</li><li>Stable but not fixed: While self-esteem tends to be more deeply ingrained, it can grow through healing, self-reflection, and compassion practices.</li><li>Driven by identity, not performance: It’s less about what you can do and more about who you believe you are. </li></ul><h3>Self-confidence</h3>Self-confidence is your belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations. It’s your external perception of what you can do.<ul><li>Linked to actions and outcomes: Self-confidence grows when you take action, overcome challenges, and achieve results.</li><li>Context-dependent: You can feel confident in one area (e.g., work) but less so in another (e.g., relationships or public speaking).</li><li>Easier to build quickly: Unlike self-esteem, self-confidence can grow rapidly through practice, preparation, and stepping out of your comfort zone.</li><li>Fueled by skills and repetition: The more you do something successfully, the more your confidence increases.</li></ul> Understanding the difference between the concepts of self confidence vs self esteem, helps you target your personal development more effectively. You might be outwardly confident but still struggle with low self-esteem, or vice versa. At selfsquared, we believe both are essential to long-term growth. By working on your internal sense of worth and your belief in your abilities, you build a more grounded, resilient, and empowered version of yourself. &nbsp;If you're ready to dive deeper and get tailored support, our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions">individual coaching sessions</a> can help you strengthen both from the inside out. <h2>How to build confidence and self-esteem in your daily life </h2><h3>Positive affirmations:</h3>Repeating positive statements like "I am capable," "I believe in myself," and "I am worthy of love and success" helps reprogram your subconscious mind. This practice gradually replaces negative self-talk with empowering beliefs, shifting your focus toward your strengths and potential. Over time, affirmations become an internal voice that uplifts rather than criticises.Visualisation techniques: Visualisation is a tried-and-true technique used by elite athletes and high achievers. By vividly imagining yourself reaching your goals or overcoming challenges, you begin to mentally rehearse success. This mental blueprint not only builds confidence, but also strengthens your belief that you can achieve your dreams.<h3>Goal setting:</h3>Setting clear and achievable goals is like giving your self-confidence a GPS. Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps. Each step you complete will provide a sense of accomplishment and contribute to a growing sense of self-confidence. So, set those goals and watch your self-esteem soar as you achieve them one by one!<h3>Self-compassion:</h3>It's easy to be our own worst critic, but it's time to change that narrative. Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer to a friend. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and those missteps don't define your worth. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and you'll be amazed at how it can transform your self-esteem.<h3>Identifying strengths:</h3>Take a moment to identify your strengths and talents. What are you good at? What do others appreciate about you? Celebrate your achievements, both big and small. Recognising your strengths is a powerful self-esteem booster because it reminds you of your unique qualities and the value you bring to the world.<h3>Challenging negative self-talk:</h3>Pay close attention to your inner dialogue. Are you constantly berating yourself with negative thoughts? It's time to challenge and reframe them. Replace those damaging thoughts with more balanced and positive perspectives. Over time, this habit can help you build a more positive self-image and boost your self-confidence.<h3>Skill development:</h3>Acquiring new skills and knowledge can significantly boost your self-confidence. Whether it's learning a new language, mastering a musical instrument, or acquiring a new professional skill, the sense of achievement that comes with skill development is invaluable. It not only enhances your self-esteem but also broadens your horizons.<h3>Body language awareness:</h3>Did you know that your body language can influence how confident you appear to others? Maintain good posture, make eye contact, and use open and assertive body language. These non-verbal cues not only make you seem more confident but also improve your self-esteem by reinforcing positive self-perception.<h3>Self-care routine:</h3>Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial for building self-confidence. Develop a self-care routine that includes regular exercise, proper nutrition, meditation, and relaxation techniques. When you feel good physically, your self-esteem naturally improves.<h3>Building a support system:</h3>Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift you. Share your goals and aspirations with friends and family who will encourage your personal growth journey. Having a strong support system can provide the motivation and reassurance you need to build your self-confidence.<h3>Facing fear &amp; taking risks:</h3>Stepping out of your comfort zone is a surefire way to boost self-confidence. Face your fears and take calculated risks. Each small step you take outside your comfort zone helps you grow and gain confidence. Embrace change and uncertainty as opportunities for personal growth.<h3>Journaling &amp; self-reflection:</h3>Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for boosting self-esteem. Use it to track your progress, thoughts, and emotions. Regular self-reflection allows you to gain insights into your self-esteem and confidence levels, helping you identify areas for improvement.<h2>Grow your confidence, one step at a time </h2>At this point I think it’s important for me to note that selfsquared and both Christie and I are here to provide valuable guidance and support tailored to your unique needs. We believe that building self-confidence and self-esteem is a journey, not a destination. Our approach at selfsquared is that you should be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards becoming the best version of you. With dedication and practice, you can cultivate the self-confidence and self-esteem needed to thrive in all aspects of life. Remember, you have the power to shape your self-image and rewrite your story; and we’re here to help you achieve that! Make the decision to start today by <a data-mce-href="https://calendly.com/selfsquared" href="https://calendly.com/selfsquared">booking your complimentary introductory session</a> to see how selfsquared can help your confidence and self-esteem soar to new heights! I look forward to speaking with you!Joy

Confidence & self-esteem: what are they & how to grow them

Learn about the high importance of self-reflection to clarify values, boost EQ &amp; self-awareness, improve decision-making &amp; grow on a daily basis.Reading time: 3.30 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/36xa6L52nCgtcdAGETCmbjf38cQ5OdAXjnEY2XPDeeC62aXqyEC8hCynZSMJYpI4.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/36xa6L52nCgtcdAGETCmbjf38cQ5OdAXjnEY2XPDeeC62aXqyEC8hCynZSMJYpI4.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Self-reflection is one of the most powerful tools you can use to accelerate your personal development. It allows you to gain insight into your thoughts, actions, and behaviours, helping you learn from your experiences and make more intentional choices moving forward. Inside the <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/selfsquared-app" target="_blank" rel="noopener">selfsquared app</a>, you’ll find guided reflection prompts and daily mindset tools designed to help you put this into practice, making reflection part of your everyday growth routine.Here’s why self-reflection is a game-changer for your growth and how you can start using it to unlock your full potential.<h2>Self reflection benefits: Gain clarity on your values and goals</h2>Self-reflection helps you reconnect with your core values and what truly matters to you. In the hustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in external expectations or distractions. Taking time to reflect allows you to realign with your authentic self and ensure that your actions are in harmony with your values. Whether it’s career growth, personal relationships, or health, self-reflection helps you assess where you are and where you want to go.​​In our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/individual-sessions" target="_blank" rel="noopener">1:1 coaching sessions</a>, we help you dig deeper into your values and set aligned goals through science-backed frameworks that foster lasting clarity and confidence.<h2>Increases self-awareness</h2>Self-awareness is the cornerstone of personal growth. When you regularly reflect on your actions and emotions, you start to understand why you react in certain ways and how your mindset affects your decisions (both in career and personal life). This level of insight helps you become more intentional in your responses and actions.For example, if you find that you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, self-reflection allows you to identify the root cause and determine whether it’s an external factor or an internal belief that needs to be addressed. Our <a data-mce-href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/group-workshops" href="https://myselfsquared.com/offerings/group-workshops" target="_blank" rel="noopener">group workshops &amp; webinars</a> often explore these patterns through shared discussions and interactive exercises, providing a supportive environment to build awareness and learn actionable techniques together.<h2>Identifies areas for improvement</h2>Self-reflection provides a mirror through which you can assess both your strengths and weaknesses. Rather than just focusing on your accomplishments, reflection helps you honestly examine where you could improve. It’s not about self-criticism; it’s about self-awareness and growth.By acknowledging areas where you may have fallen short, you can create actionable plans to improve. Whether it's improving your time management, communication skills, or emotional regulation, reflection gives you the insight you need to make meaningful changes.<h2>Enhances decision-making</h2>Self-reflection enhances your ability to make informed, thoughtful decisions. By reflecting on past experiences (both successes and failures) you can better evaluate how to approach future challenges. It helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes and make decisions that align with your long-term objectives.Reflecting on past choices also allows you to assess what worked well and why. This helps you gain <a data-mce-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bPWiy9Wh1w" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bPWiy9Wh1w" target="_blank" rel="noopener">self confidence</a> in your decision-making, knowing that you’ve learned from the past and are capable of navigating future challenges with greater clarity.<h2>How to make self-reflection a daily habit</h2><h3>Set aside time for reflection:</h3>It doesn’t take hours to reflect. Just 10-15 minutes each day is enough. Find a quiet space, free from distractions, and reflect on your day: what went well, what didn’t, and what you learned.<h3>Ask yourself the right questions:</h3>Ask open-ended questions that encourage deep thought, such as: <ul><li>What am I proud of today?</li><li>What could I have done differently?</li><li>How did I feel in certain situations, and why?</li><li>What lessons did I learn?</li></ul><h3>Journal your thoughts:</h3>Writing down your reflections can help solidify your insights and give you a clearer perspective. Journaling allows you to track your progress and see patterns over time.<h3>Be honest &amp; compassionate:</h3>Self-reflection isn’t about being harsh on yourself; it’s about being honest and open. Acknowledge areas for improvement, but also celebrate your growth. Self-compassion allows you to learn without judgment. Self-reflection is a powerful tool for unlocking personal growth. By taking time to reflect on your experiences, you gain clarity on your values, increase your self-awareness, and identify areas for improvement. It enhances decision-making and emotional intelligence, making it an essential practice for long-term success.The key is to make self-reflection a daily habit. Ready to make reflection part of your daily life? Try the <a data-mce-href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/selfsquared/id6737338854" href="https://apps.apple.com/us/app/selfsquared/id6737338854" target="_blank" rel="noopener">selfsquared app</a> or explore our coaching options to get personalised support on your growth journey.- Joy

The importance of self-reflection in personal development

Learn how neuroplasticity empowers change and how shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset can truly transform your personal and professional journey. Reading time: 5.28 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31S7ocjzixkHXodRkis5CJ5ON7sGkK1tDdKhEQrhdl5NWwQvbOM4ICtj2gPfBFEg.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/31S7ocjzixkHXodRkis5CJ5ON7sGkK1tDdKhEQrhdl5NWwQvbOM4ICtj2gPfBFEg.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>The concepts of growth vs fixed mindsets have been circulated by psychologists, life coaches and philosophers – however, it’s unclear how effective or inhibiting they truly are without delving deeper. Here, we’ll explore what growth and fixed mindsets are, and how implementing simple actions can lead to cultivating a growth mindset, and even alter your brain structure. Research shows that a growth mindset has been proven to be an essential tool in academic and career success and can ultimately determine the person you want to be and whether you accomplish your goals. Our aim at selfsquared is to teach you how to reach beyond your limits and achieve your goals, and learning how to cultivate a growth mindset is an essential first step. &nbsp; Why adopt a growth mindset? The leading Psychologist in this field, Dr. Carol Dweck, has conducted years of research into the effects of adopting a growth mindset, studying the power of changing one’s underlying beliefs about what they can achieve, where such changes led to an increase in neural growth. This originated studying students’ GPAs (grades) before and after being taught how to adopt a growth mindset – with the results showing undeniable improvement and growth in students who successfully implemented it. Since then, growth mindsets have been linked to success in one’s career, personal growth and overall life achievement. &nbsp; The journey of how growth mindsets can affect such fundamental aspects of our lives begins with neuroplasticity. Through neuroplasticity, human beings can learn new languages, form memories, and rehabilitate themselves – but what actually is it? Neuroplasticity is essentially the ‘rewiring of the brain’ - a feature that our brains have whereby nerve cells called neurons can adapt to new circumstances in our environment. It allows us to strengthen certain neural connections that we do need meanwhile ‘pruning’ off connections that we don’t. When neuroplasticity results in beneficial changes, it can allow us to develop or even create certain functions, such as strengthening connections for language or memory. Neuroplasticity works via a combination of synaptic plasticity (strengthening connections) and neurogenesis (creating new cells in the brain). Synaptic plasticity allows for the gap between two neurons (synapse) to be modified to allow for those two neurons to communicate more effectively with each other – metaphorically ‘closing’ the gap between them. Neurogenesis involves the creation of completely new neurons altogether. Although there has been controversy over whether neurogenesis is possible in adults, recent research shows that it is possible in certain regions of the brain (in particular the region responsible for memory). Together, these two processes combine to allow our brains to be flexible and adaptable. Disruption of neuroplasticity by severe stress or traumatic experiences can be a characteristic of infamous neurological conditions such as depression or PTSD. People can become stuck in certain neural patterns of negative thinking – and literally lose synapses in the process. These negative thinking patterns are also a key feature of a fixed mindset. Do you ever feel like your abilities are ‘fixed’? Like you can’t play an instrument, or you’re either “smart” or “not smart”? This is referred to as a fixed mindset, which is where an individual believes that their abilities are fixed and cannot be changed. On the other hand, a growth mindset is a mindset in which an individual views their intelligence, abilities and talents as capable of improvement through effort and exercise. The good news is that self-directed neuroplasticity can help us cultivate a growth mindset. Adopting a growth mindset brings a plethora of benefits including increasing motivation, learning and overall success – through viewing challenges as mistakes to learn from rather than something one can fail. We can rewire our own brains through consistently exercising positive actions or thoughts to establish them as habits and regular behaviours, by adopting a growth mindset. Growth mindsets allow us to increase positive behaviours and reinforce positive thoughts while allowing for setbacks, ensuring that some neural connections are strengthened, and others ‘pruned’ off - bridging the gap between the so called ‘mind’ and the ‘brain’. &nbsp; But how can we activate this rewiring ourselves? There are five ways to use neuroplasticity to adopt a growth mindset. Firstly, simplify what you’re trying to achieve by streamlining your progress. Instead of having a general idea of how you want to succeed, focus on beneficial key goals and eliminate irrelevant goals. Secondly, learn to embrace failure and learn from your mistakes. By viewing failure as a positive rather than a negative, we can learn from each one and improve our decision making. Accepting your failures opens up other avenues to try new things and set new goals, even if there is a chance that you may fail. Ultimately leading to a higher chance of succeeding at your higher goals in life. Thirdly, integrate movement into your routine. Neuroscientific evidence shows that physical activity stimulates the release of a substance called Brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF) which activates the growth of new synaptic connections, improving neuroplasticity. As discussed earlier, an improvement in neuroplasticity in the right areas helps us create a growth mindset. Fourthly, create small daily challenges for yourself. Measurable mini goals make getting out of your comfort zone more doable, which is an important feature in fostering a growth mindset. Once you can escape your comfort zone, that is when you can tackle the harder problems, leading to the achievement of more sizable goals. Finally, be open to feedback. Allowing others to constructively criticise your performance can push you to challenge yourself beyond your original limits and understand that you are responsible for your own growth – which is the fundamental premise of a growth mindset. &nbsp; Understanding the difference between growth and fixed mindsets and how to identify what kind of mindset you’re currently in is the first step forward. Once established, use the above techniques to activate your own neuroplasticity, and forge your own path to growth and achieving your goals. Remember – the mindset you adopt for yourself determines your success. - Iona

Neuroplasticity and growth vs fixed mindsets

Explore what holds you back &amp; discover strategies to overcome fear &amp; resistance. Move forward with courage, clarity &amp; purpose in daily life.Reading time: 5.38 minutes<figure id="figure-q466gkc804lk2vnvgy"><img id="q466gkc804lk2vnvgy" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23QKPYr6JSPYnUxNwWvqMxWtb7Iionv9z5isjvviQyoKiFpc5ieJ7OP5i8SXaDx5.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="large" data-aspect="3:2" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/23QKPYr6JSPYnUxNwWvqMxWtb7Iionv9z5isjvviQyoKiFpc5ieJ7OP5i8SXaDx5.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 3/2; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Fear and resistance are two formidable adversaries that often stand between us and our dreams. They can paralyze us, stifle our creativity, and prevent us from reaching our full potential. But the good news is that with the right mindset and strategies, we can conquer these barriers and pave the way for personal and professional growth. They’re both common barriers that hold us back from achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life. However, with the power of psychology-based techniques, you can break free from these constraints and unlock your true potential. In this blog, we will explore what fear and resistance are, as well as a few techniques that can help overcome them to unlock your full potential. Fear and resistance are closely related but distinct concepts, so let’s start with defining each. Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. It can be triggered by various factors, including past experiences, uncertainty about the future, or even fear of failure. Fear can manifest as anxiety, self-doubt, and procrastination, making it challenging to take action and pursue your goals. Resistance, on the other hand, is the psychological force that opposes change or any form of progress. It often stems from fear but can also be driven by comfort in the status quo. Resistance can manifest as self-sabotage, procrastination, or a strong desire to stay within your comfort zone. To overcome these, it's essential to identify their sources and understand why they manifest. Common sources include past failures, where previous setbacks or failures can breed fear of repeating those experiences, leading to resistance against trying again. Additionally, self-doubt, stemming from a lack of self-confidence and belief in your abilities, can fuel fear and resistance. Striving for perfection can also be a hindrance, as it can paralyze you with fear of making mistakes, causing resistance to taking action. The unknown and uncertainty can be intimidating factors, leading to fear and resistance when faced with change or new opportunities. Lastly, external pressures, such as those from others' expectations or societal norms, can create fear and resistance to pursuing your true desires, adding to the challenges you may face on your journey to overcoming these obstacles. Now that we've explored the roots of fear and resistance, let's delve into strategies to overcome them and unlock your full potential, starting with visualization-based exposure. The human mind cannot distinguish between reality and the mental constructs we create. Whether you’re facing a real-life situation or merely imagining it, your brain responds by producing the same neurochemicals that trigger emotional responses. This implies that if you harbour fears, whether related to public speaking, addressing a challenging conversation, or flying in an airplane, you can employ visualization to mentally rehearse exposure. Visualization is a valuable tool not only for addressing fears but also for practicing new skills or initiating life changes. Since change can be intimidating, visualization helps in overcoming resistance by allowing you to become accustomed to the forthcoming experience. By mentally working through the daunting aspects and considering various scenarios, you can prepare yourself for how you wish to react when the actual event occurs. Visualization also aids skill development by ingraining detailed mental representations, making real-life execution feel familiar rather than novel. Regardless of the mental exposure scenario, it's important to define what the experience would entail. I want you to try this. Imagine a situation or scenario that causes you a sense of fear or resistance. Are there specific steps to follow? Who would be present, and what would be happening around you? Take a moment to close your eyes and vividly imagine the entire experience from beginning to end. Pay attention to any negative emotions of resistance or fear that arise, and analyse the thoughts that trigger those feelings. Consider how you would prefer the experience to unfold to make you more comfortable, and continue envisioning a successful outcome. You can even incorporate enjoyable or calming elements like music or colours into your mental scenario, which programs your mind to anticipate positive emotions during the actual event. It may be necessary to repeat this exercise multiple times until you can navigate the entire process with confidence and positivity. Another effective method for gradually confronting fear and resistance is by taking incremental steps, which comes from situation exposure hierarchies. You can use this technique by starting with identifying the activities or situations you have been avoiding. Next, pinpoint the specific steps or actions within these situations that trigger resistance. This could involve initiating conversations, making commitments, taking actions, or making investments, among other things. For each aspect that induces resistance, rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 representing the highest level of fear or resistance. Arrange these aspects in order based on their scores, and commence with the tasks that have the lowest resistance levels. This approach not only builds self-assurance but also reduces feelings of overwhelm by tackling smaller tasks first, gradually progressing to more challenging ones. A powerful technique for addressing fear and resistance involves confronting the fear head-on. Admittedly, this is my favourite technique whereby you’re required to play out the scenario to its conclusion; essentially div e into the worst-case scenario. You can do this by visualizing the situation and playing it out to its worst-case scenario – aka the outcome you fear the most. This exercise allows you to gain insight into what it would actually feel like without the need to experience it in reality. It provides a safe space for you to assess your reactions and coping mechanisms in the face of your fear. It's important to note that this technique is highly linked with decatastrophizing. This is a tool which is highly effective for dispelling worries and catastrophic thinking, especially when you find yourself overly concerned about a situation. By examining the facts and data surrounding the situation, decatastrophizing helps you regain a rational perspective. To effectively manage worries and anxieties, it's essential to follow a structured approach; so here’s six steps that can help you do that:<ol><li>Identify the catastrophe: Begin by identifying the catastrophe you are concerned about, articulating it clearly without resorting to vague "What if...?" statements.</li><li>Assess the severity: Once you've pinpointed the potential catastrophe, assess its severity on a scale from 0% to 100%, considering how awful it would genuinely be if it were to occur.</li><li>Evaluate likelihood: Following this, evaluate the likelihood of this catastrophe becoming a reality, taking into account past occurrences or similar events. Estimate the probability on the same 0% to 100% scale.</li><li>Worst-case scenario: Next, delve into the worst-case scenario, the best-case scenario, and the most probable outcome. Approach this as if you were advising a friend in a similar situation, considering what reassurances you would provide.</li><li>Coping strategies: Reflect on how you would cope with the aftermath of the catastrophe, drawing from your past experiences and available resources, including support from friends, your skills, and effective coping techniques.</li><li>Self-reassurance: Finally, create a positive and reassuring narrative based on your analysis, crafting the comforting words you would want to hear. Then, reevaluate how severe you perceive the catastrophe to be, armed with a clearer perspective and a newfound sense of self-reassurance. Fear and resistance are challenging adversaries, but they are not impossible to overcome. By understanding their sources, acknowledging their presence, and implementing strategies to overcome them, you can unlock your full potential and pursue your dreams with confidence and determination. Consider that growth often happens outside your comfort zone, so embrace the challenges and uncertainties along the way, knowing that they are essential ingredients on the path to success. Next time you’re faced with fear or resistance, I’d love for you to remind yourself that our journey is a testament to your resilience and determination, and it will ultimately lead you to a brighter and more fulfilling future.</li></ol>- Joy

selfsquared

blog posts backend

The root cause of perfectionism & how to overcome it

The power of boundaries: What are they & how to set them

Confidence & self-esteem: what are they & how to grow them

The importance of self-reflection in personal development

Neuroplasticity and growth vs fixed mindsets

Overcoming fear & resistance